If I Could Just

If I could just wipe away the tears
That is in my eyes so as to show you that I’m fine
If I could just turn away from you and from your face
So as not to show you the pain that I feel
If I could just look you straight in the eye
Without hesitations or remorse so as to look strong and firm
If I could just act strong for you and for myself
So as not to look like a little lost sheep
Lost in the meadows, soaked under the pouring rain
If I could just smile
Even if the pain is tearing me inside
So as to show you that I will be all right
If I could just show you that I’m fine...
But that would be a lie...

I Don't Know What Your Silence Means

I don't know what your silence means
perhaps it's your way of saying go away
some words you just can't speak or are afraid to say

I don't know what your silence means
perhaps it means you're mad
for words I may have said or
for those words I can't speak and are afraid to say

I don't know what your silence means
perhaps I'm wrong...
perhaps I'm scared...

I don't know what your silence means…

Be fair and say good-bye


They have been sweethearts for more than a year. Their involvement with each other had been very intense emotionally, intellectually and even sexually. They had been making plans to get married when she suddenly began to worry about their relationship, their love.

She noticed that he was seeing less & less of her, calling/texting less often and talking more & more about things that didn’t matter much. When she confronted him & asked him to explain, he simply said he was very busy with his work & needed more time for himself (hmm…in other words, starting to make lame excuses). Long after the relationship effectively ended, he had never said good-bye. He simply faded out of her life without even giving her a satisfactory explanation.

Is this story familiar? You bet! Far too often, relationships end without even a whimper. Lovers don’t say good-bye. Instead, they simply disappear quietly into the dark night. The lover who wants to end his relationship this way usually does so for any number of reasons.

First, he may feel guilty about walking away after having made a promise he evidently has no intention of keeping. He may not want to hurt the woman and hopes that by quietly sneaking out the back door, she will just forget about him. Or perhaps she does not want to be the one to end the relationship and thus refuses to put a period at the end of the chapter. Instead, she leaves without any formal finish to the relationship.

Lovers who use the “fade-out” technique believe it gives them less pain. Perhaps, but it isn’t fair. When a lover slowly backs out of a relationship piece by piece, he or she cuts away the partner’s self-esteem. More than that, when the relationship isn’t clearly ended, the partner may believe that there is still a good chance of patching things up and going on. This, even if the one leaving has no intention of doing so. Often, the one saying good-bye will create false expectations by saying things like, “Perhaps we can try again in a few months’ time.” Or, “This isn’t a break up, only a pause in a relationship” or others calls it “cool–off” – when you know very well that its’ over.

Often, the one wanting to leave will ask for impossible conditions for staying, believing those conditions are completely unacceptable. There is surprise when they are sometimes accepted.

It isn’t fair to play with one’ feelings, especially someone you once claimed to love deeply. You owe it to that person to be honest and clear about your intention.

Some advise:
1. Don’t use the “I need more time” excuse.
2. Encourage your partner to find a life independent of you
3. Let your actions reflect your words
4. Tell it as it is
5. Don’t make excuses

If you went into a relationship SINCERELY, you’re duty bound to leave it in the same manner.

The Top 10 Love Myths Exposed!


1. Love conquers all.

Love does not conquer addictions, a violent temper, or seksual indiscretions. Beware of these fatal flaws and run as fast as you can. You'll be glad you did. True love involves two healthy partners with lots of similarities and a ton of commitment.

2. If it is true love, you'll know it the instant you meet that person.

There a lot of factors that contribute to a happy marriage. Dr. Neil Warren, author of Finding the Love of Your Life, suggests that there are 50 helpful marriage similarities. It would be impossible to evaluate all of these criteria in the first instant of meeting a new partner. Take your time! Enjoy the ride!

3. There is only one true love in the world for you.

At the time of this writing the world population is well over 6 billion and growing. Believing there is only ONE true love for you, could cause you to ignore some red flags in order to avoid the monumental task of finding your needle in a haystack. The good news is: there are many suitable partners for you.

4. Your soul mate will fulfill you in every way.

If you feel empty, desperate, and needy before a relationship, you'll struggle with these same feelings after you are in a relationship. It is unfair to expect a partner to fulfill the needs you should be fulfilling yourself. Get yourself emotionally healthy. After all you make up 50% of the relationship's health!

5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry, it must be love.

According to Diane Ackerman (1990), in a Natural History of Love, nature has provided a powerful glue to help a couple bond during the early stages of a relationship. The initial chemical thrill of infatuation can produce an amphetamine-like high. Be forewarned that the frenzy of being wildly infatuated is mercifully short. Allow enough time in a relationship to navigate beyond the dangerous waters of your built-in hormone factory before making any rash life-long commitments.

6. A fun date, makes a great marriage partner.

Marrying a fun date that takes you to fancy restaurants, showers you with expensive gifts, and is a ton of fun, may backfire on you. These qualities that are assets in the dating arena, may become serious liabilities in a marriage partnership. Be sure your partner's apparent wealth is not a figment of his credit card limit. Be sure that your fun loving, practical joker, and life of the party romantic interest has a responsible, serious side that is able to deal with the harsh realities of adult life.

7. A couple must be a mirror image of each other for a relationship to work.

While having a lot in common is a good thing, it is not important that you agree on everything. It is important that your requirements (your non-negotiables) do match, however. Other differences may actually provide an opportunity for you to grow as an individual and be a breath of fresh air to your life.

8. Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Let's face it. Even Mr. Wonderful or Miss Wonderful as the case may be, is bound to have an off day, or put their foot in their mouth. Making mistakes is a part of life. Having a partner who is humble enough to ask for forgiveness and make needed adjustments will add an element of resilience needed to weather the storms of life.

9. Love is a bed of roses.

Love can be the best of times or the worst of times. The thing that makes love last for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part is a commitment to love that special person under all circumstances. It is very important that you take the time necessary to be sure that in evaluating a potential partner that your requirements are met. Then choose to love them, even with their remaining idiosyncrasies or flaws.

10. True love feels good always.

True love means sometimes putting your partner's needs above your own, for the benefit of the relationship as a whole. And that may require some sacrifices on your part. Sacrifices are uncomfortable and can be quite painful, but having a partner who you love and loves you is priceless.

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